Shock Jockeys

It’s rare for me to laugh out loud when reading e-mail messages, but last week I had one that broke me up, to put it mildly. After I wiped away the laugh tears I quickly asked the sender for permission to change the name of the little protagonist and write-up the tale as a blog post. The sender gave her consent and the story is herewith presented for your reading pleasure.

Recently the daughter of an old friend took her 3-year-old son—I’ll call him Freddie—to the doctor for a regular checkup. The doctor walked into the room and, after some small talk and the normal exam of the lad’s ears, throat, chest, etc., she slipped his pants off. The eyes of the mother and doctor widened when they noted a large bulge in the crotch of Freddie’s brief’s. “Could my little man be having an erection?” the mother wondered. As the doctor pulled Freddie’s briefs down, out sprang this large pink thing. Then another. And yet another—they popped out like those snakes-in-a-can novelties do when you take the lid off. When Freddie’s mom and the doctor recovered from their mild fright, they were surprised to find that he had hidden a selection of his mother’s pink sponge hair rollers in his pants. My friend’s e-mail about her grandson’s interesting horde ended this way: “We may never know why he did such a thing.”

As to why Freddie did what he did, I have a theory. It’s simple. That boy loves his mother. As Freud might have opined, what else could such delightfully funny-strange behavior symbolize?

Copyright © 2009 Jim Sizemore.

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4 Responses to Shock Jockeys

  1. Jacquie Roland says:

    HMMMM. Very funny story in the “what is REALLY going on in those active little minds” category. My take on it may be somewhat different than yours… I think the little darling was obsessed, that much is evident, but I believe he may have been obsessed with a certain part of his OWN anatomy, rather than Freudian thoughts about his mother. Even at that tender age, the idea of “less is more’ does not compute ‘down there’. So, in his active little mind, more of a good …(dare we say ‘great’ ) thing may have been very appealing. Let’s not forget, it probably FELT good, too. Boys. 🙂

  2. Jim says:

    Yeah, boys—those devilish little animals . . . of course I wasn’t like that either way.

  3. Angela says:

    Yes, we may never know what goes on in the minds of little boys. One day I was reviewing the pictures saved on my cell phone, when I noticed one was an image of a boy-sized penis. Well, I knew that I sure didn’t take that! In an attempt to figure out who did it, I looked for clues and noticed the camo pants worn by the subject. Knowing that my 6 year old often wore camos, I asked him not if he took it, but why. He proudly responded, “Mom, I wanted you to see how big it got!”

  4. Jim says:

    Can anyone out there top this one?! Cute, very cute . . .

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