Today’s Quote

December 30, 2015

jknox“Whoever tied the Mylar birthday balloon to the dead squirrel on Main Street thinks big.

Jennifer L. Knox

Days of Shame & Failure, Bloof Books

Note: I rarely buy poetry, but I like to read about poets—especially one who writes a poem titled “Iowa Plates,” with a first line that would make a great caption-less gag cartoon. I just received the collection in the mail; the poem plus the book title alone is well worth $15 . . .


Today’s Poem

December 26, 2015

Bonfire-2:b&w

Solstice

By Florence Newman

All year we’ve banked the embers of our rage

and gathered brittle bitterness and grief,

stacked cords of hardened sorrows high to feed

the bonfire built against the darkening days.

Tonight a fiery feast at last repays

our abstinence; upon the pyre we heave

our heartache, the sacrifice we bleed,

bottomless libation, offering to the blaze.

Cast in the broken hopes, the stifled sighs,

recriminations, doubts, defeat, despair,

the fruit of many seasons, grimly grown.

Fill up the void with self-deceit and lies,

with unshed tears, unspoken pain and care,

and beat the drum until the very depths resound.

Copyright © 2015 Florence Newman.

Today’s Gag

December 24, 2015

1512:CARE-BlogTo buy reprint and/or other rights for this cartoon, visit my archives at cartoonstock.com, and jantoo.com. You may also have this cartoon reproduced on mugs, t-shirts and other products. Here’s the link: zazzle.com/mugtoons/products

© 2015 Jim Sizemore.

Today’s Gag

December 20, 2015

Jolly:Blog

To buy reprint and/or other rights for this cartoon, visit my archives at cartoonstock.com, and jantoo.com. You may also have this cartoon reproduced on mugs, t-shirts and other products. Here’s the link: zazzle.com/mugtoons/products

Copyright © 2015 Jim Sizemore.

A Creative Request

December 13, 2015

"Nice" me in the late 1970's

(This photograph of me is from the mid-1970's)

My mother taught me to always “be nice,” but sometimes it ain’t easy. Below is my reply to a written request from a “friend,” someone I had only just met at a party. After a short conversation, I had made the mistake of giving him my business card. Upon finding out that I’m a cartoonist (not covered in our chat), he wrote to ask me to “whip up” a quick caricature of him on a birthday card that he intended to send to a woman he was trying to impress. He also specified that I should hand-letter the card, including the woman’s name, in a “cute cartoon-ish” style, and write something “witty” on it. To top it off, he said that I should not sign the card.

“Thank you for the opportunity. I’m flattered that you’ve selected me for your project, one that you estimate ‘will take no more than a few minutes.’ However, cartooning and writing is what I do for a living, and both skills took years to develop to a professional level. Bottom line, I work only for pay. In fact, my per-minute fee is so high that I’m sure you can’t afford my services.”


Today’s Quotes

December 10, 2015

th-stamp1“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

“Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.”

“A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.”

“Don’t get it right, just get it written.”

James Thurber, writer and cartoonist (1894-1961)


Today’s Quote

December 4, 2015

images-2“The ‘environment’ is not the gift of entrepreneurs, risk takers, or investors. It is the common, inherited property of humanity.”

Christopher Hitchens

Minority Report,” Nation, 4/02/83